I was trying to find a particular post on my blog from a few months ago and as I was perusing I noticed a drastic change in my blogin' style since I became a full time employee and part time Mom. I used to talk about the small things in our lives that made all of the crazyiness worth it. Now it seems that I focus on just the surface, I throw a pictures up with a quick (well, maybe not so quick) explanation...and that's it!
So, I have decided to dig a little deeper into our lives at this moment and share what is in my heart. For whatever reason it seems as though I have been having a really hard time lately. I don't know if everything is just catching up with me or if something has changed. I just feel like I have hit the wall and don't know how to get my legs back (I've been entrenched in the Tour de France, hence the analogy!).
When we moved to Illinois a year ago my goal was to make friends and help others feel included. I guees I have struggled with this my whole life (making friends) so I put my best effort forth to make it happen. But, despite all of my efforts, I still feel so alone. It is so easy to put on a happy face and say "Oh I'm fine, I'm fine...I'm used to never seeing my husband and having a million things on my plate, that's how I operate" but then I look in the mirror and am finally honest and say "no, I am not fine".
It is hard for me to say this because I see so many people around me with struggles that make mine look like a walk in the park. I suppose my issue is patience. I feel like Anthony and I really have worked hard since we've been married, but we are still in the same place. I want to be progressing and I don't see myself doing that. So, as I dig a bit deeper into my life I find that I must make an active decision to be happy and "grow where I am planted".
I just hope and pray that I have done something for someone else that ensures them that I care and am thinking about them. Its nice to know and feel that you are loved.
4 comments:
Kelsey, you are such a sweetheart. I know that you have made me feel like I am special since you have been here & I really appreciate that. Let's get together, anytime!You're great! :)
Kellabell I love you so much and I love always talking to you. Im sorry that making friends is hard I feel the same way. Since meeting Brady it has been easy/forced upon me because he has so many friends so I have just been placed in front of these wives and it has worked. But when I have to go out on my own and try and talk to and make friends its hard and I get all weird and Im not sure why because we all know im not a shy person.
But you are an amazing wife, mom, sister, and friend. You are always thinking about others and there well being. I hate living accross the country from you. I hope that some day we can live near each other again.
Thanks for being you! Love you lots!
Kelsey, you really are an amazing friend to so many people around here. I honestly can say I look up to you so much, and wish that I could be the friend to you that you are to me and to so many other people. I am lucky to know you, and I feel incredibly lucky to have you close by. Thanks for everything! You're awesome!!!
Kelsey, I can completely understanding what you are saying. It must be difficult to be away from your family; however, there are days were I dream about being away... You have created your own beautiful family. You and Anthony are both wonderful people. You can definitely say you have friends in WI.
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