Changes

My baby ticker says I have only 2.5 hrs until our little Sophi Anne is due. I have been anxiously awaiting her arrival since 2 weeks ago when I had my first false labor/hospital episode. Every day since then I go to bed and awake the next morning thinking "this could be the day". Today is the fist day that I am nervous to go to bed for fear that I might awake in labor. Today everything is a little different.
My Dad called me at 4:55 pm and asked when I would be heading home. I told him 5 minutes and he said okay - call me right back. So I finished up a few things at my desk and headed out the door. I dialed him right away because I knew it would be important, I just didn't know how important at the time. He of course asked how I was feeling and we chatted for 10 minutes or so. I asked how my Grandmother (his mother) is doing. I found out last week that her aorta is nearly entirely calcified and there is little to nothing they can do. They are trying to find a cardiologist who will perform a risky operation but she is basically waiting to pass away.
After discussing the situation with Grandmother my Dad mentioned that he would be having surgery next week too. A little surprised I immediately thought it would be on his shoulder because he had been having some shoulder pain. He then told me that they would be removing his prostate and surrounding tissues. He said that it wasn't healthy. I asked if it was cancer and he said yes.
The tears started flowing at this point. He has known for 2 months that he has cancer and just starting telling the family yesterday. My Dad is a hero and wants to protect us all. He has been meeting with doctors and researching everywhere to decide his course of treatment. Instead of radiation he has chosen to go the route of surgery because he believes it to be more successful. He then had to find a doctor who he felt would be the best and get everything in place so that he could answer all of questions and assure us that he has a plan and everything will be okay.
While I heard all of this with my brain my heart still aches. I know that "cancer" isn't a death sentence for all who suffer these days, but it is still an overwhelming battle. You hear the good and the bad and everything in between and I am so afraid of what is to come. While I trust that he and his doctors are making the best choices it just doesn't calm my heart.
I got home tonight and just prayed that I would be able to go to work tomorrow - that for just 1 more day my life would stay the same, exactly how it was this morning as I felt sorry for myself having to go to work the day before my baby is due. But I know that the only things constant in my life are the Lord and change - everything else is up for grabs.
And so I can not stand to go to bed tonight, knowing that I am going to have a brand new baby any minute and I don't know how I am going to handle it, that my Dad has cancer is having surgery next week, my Grandmother could pass away at anytime and I will quite my job and hope and pray that everything will work out. This week has been the light at the end of a long and stressful tunnel as I have struggled with working over the past year and a half. But as always, a new tunnel is laid before me and I must remember to bring the light with me and not wait for it after a long, lonely, scary journey.
Please keep our family in your prayers and be patient with me as I am going to be a complete and udder mess for a good 4...maybe 6 weeks :) Okay that's a lie - I have been a mess for 9 months!