I have been in YW's for over 3 years now (post my initial 6 year stint as a young woman) and it is just now sinking in that I need the lessons I teach just as much (if not more than) as the girls. I have always known that the things we teach to the youth are gospel truths and I have thought and prayed about them extensively, but it was only 5 minutes ago that it finally really sank in. Now I will probably get released because I learned my lesson!
It all seriousness though, I have been touched by two things in particular this week. On Sunday we had a lesson on avoiding the negative influences of the media. The entire lesson I thought to myself that I fall victim to these influences every single day. My particular vice is that of feeling insignificant and of little worth to the world around me. I think Satan's greatest tool is discouragement. If he can get us to think that we aren't important or making a difference then we give up and his job is done. I always feel like I am not doing enough and that I don't have to do anything, I can just veg out on the couch because I deserve it, simultaneously. I know this sounds crazy, but I get so overwhelmed that I do nothing because I don't know where to start.
The second thing that the media gets me on prime time TV. Oh yeah, I love a good drama. But man are they trashy! So, on Sunday I decided to give up 2 of favorite shows (Mad Men and Grey's Anatomy). We had Mad Men recorded on the DVR and it has literally taken all of my self control to not watch it (so I binged on frosting and graham crackers...there was no control left over for that!). I feel pathetic that I am 25 and have to put these kinds of restrictions on myself...shouldn't I have learned this a long time ago?!?
The other lesson that hit me this week is my innate ability to do something beautiful and wonderful with my life. I have been working on a theme/ideas for YW in excellence and I kept coming back to the Mormon message Create. President Ukdorf talks about the God given abilities women have to create beauty around them.
For so long I have discounted this in myself. I have always rationalized that I have another talents and making this nice and beautiful can/should be left to others who are better at it. Then I started realizing what I have taught myself over the past few months. I have become *mildly* skilled in making fun YW's handouts (hey, you gotta start somewhere). I have also become a novice cake decorator and even hung a handful of pictures in my house (first time since I have been married).
I think I am too easily discouraged. I see all of the good produced and enjoyed by others and feel that I am nothing compared to them. I need to learn to be happy. Doesn't that sound lame? Shouldn't we just know how to be happy? We are that we may have joy...right? But that's okay, I have learned many things in my time, how to be happy can be mastered too!
So, my goals are to recognize the beauty that I can/do create around myself and for my family. Secondly, I am going to learn to enjoy life, to laugh more and to not be so jealous of other's happiness. I don't need to define myself by those around me. I need to be the best Kelsey there is, because I am the only one and if I don't do what I am supposed to do, no one will. That's worth something...isn't it?
5 comments:
I agree with everything that you said. Especially about getting down on yourself & comparing yourself to others. I just want you to know that I think you are really neat. ;)
Wonderful insight and wonderful worthwhile goals. If all women could truly come to appreciate and understand their divine nature and individual worth what a change their would be in the world. I love you Kelsey and think you are amazing!
Oh Kell-a-Bell this made me cry. I know you are an AMAZING women of God and that you do so much for others around you. I think that is very important that you take care of yourself and make sure you are happy also. It is so true life is all what WE decided to make of it. How I look at it is your neighbor that looks so happy and enjoying life so much that you wish was you is only that way because she has taught herself to smile the biggest when life sucks the most and then she finds that happiness we all desire.
I love you sooo much and I am so proud of you for all of the fun things you have learned how to do. Hey you are the one who got me into alot of the things I enjoy doing and you always inviting me over for dinner when you lived in Utah made me want to cook a real meal every night when I got married and guess what ... I do!
I can't tell you enough how I HATE you living on the other side of the country from me :(
You are seriously such a good example to me, and a really awesome friend. Thanks for everything!!
I was inspired by that same talk given about God's happiness. I have a goal since this talk that everyday I try to accomplish one thing that can't be undone in 24hrs. It really has brought be a lot of joy. Sometimes it's hanging a picture or sometimes it's organizing one drawer or cupboard. I felt like so much of what I do is undone everyday with the kids that it didn't feel like I was creating anything. Great post. I like Anthony's too.
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