I love my two sweet baby girls, I really do! But I am in desperate need of a little advice. Alexandra has always been a very sensitive child. The downside of this trait is that she cries over pretty much everything. Most of the time it is manageable, but this week has been killing me. The smallest thing will send her spinning and my only coping mechanism is to send her to her room until she calms down.
I had to put myself in time out today because I was so frustrated with her behavior. Her latest thing is to but in and say "No, its my turn!" when I am trying to explain something to her.
I am trying to be a kinder, more patient and loving mom. Please, give me your advice. How do you deal with a child who cries and cries? What has worked/worked to help with behavior issues at your house? Thank you!!!!
3 comments:
I don't know that I'll be very helpful, because I should put myself in time out more often. I lose my temper all the time and just send the kids to their room when they throw a fit. Lately I've notice with Colin that it helps him to calm down when I tell him, "I understand that you're angry/upset/disappointed/sick/whatever" and help him label his feelings. He likes having his feelings validated. Also, we take deep breaths together. It makes him laugh, and his laugh helps me to calm down and not be so frustrated. I'll have to check back on the other comments to get some advice for myself!
Also, I love your blog. I just don't comment often.
I am by no means an expert. I'm pretty sure I've mentioned that I lose my temper all the time. But I keep remembering Bev's comment about how everything is a "phase" and there will be an end to it... eventually. Also, I'm loving this quote:
"A sweet and obedient child will enroll a father or mother only in Parenting 101. If you are blessed with a child who tests your patience to the nth degree, you will be enrolled in Parenting 505.
Rather than wonder what you might have done wrong in the premortal life to be so deserving, you might consider the more challenging child a blessing and opportunity to become more godlike yourself. With which child will your patience, long-...suffering, and other Christlike virtues most likely be tested, developed, and refined? Could it be possible that you need this child as much as this child needs you?" ~Lynn G. Robbins
Melody is definitely my 505 professor!
"I don't understand cries" or "I don't understand whine" are common lines with me. "If you would like to continue, you can go to your room until you can figure out how to speak to mommy" Then if they continue but don't go to their room, then I ask, "would you like help going to your room or can you do it on your own?" Then if they continue in the same way I say, "Okay, you have chosen to have me help you" then I carry them to their room. "When you want to be a happy boy/girl, then you can come and talk to me." Try really really hard not to lose your temper, act totally unaffected by the cries. (I've read in some parenting books that getting upset and losing your temper can actually be rewarding to the child because they are getting lots of energy from you). Then when they calm down again, REWARD them, act really happy that they were able to calm themselves down and give them that energy that they want (Positive reinforcement).
I have found that sometimes kids actually need to cry, and like Wendi said, & what Bev said, it's probably just a phase. As long as you don't encourage it, or reward it then it will probably pass.
I'm not an expert myself, but I have read a few parenting books, and parenting talks from general authorities to get better. Tyler has definately put me in the 505 class. :)
Good luck! I sure do love that little Ali.
Post a Comment